I swear I have to be doing something wrong with Ethan. I've gotten to the point that there can't be any other solution than the fact that I'm screwing up.
He flushes toys down the toilet, and has done so as recently as Feb/March/April -- possibly more recent. We've had to replace two toilets this week. One had a Penguins of Madagascar penguin toy from McDonalds stuck in, and the other one had Liam's rattle from when he was a baby. It's the rattle that's in this picture from when Ethan was a baby http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k19/Jade1018/Liam%20and%20Ethan/2006/HPIM0610.jpg
Karl made a big deal about showing him how the toys BROKE the toilet. We pointed out that because of the toys in the toilet, we had to buy new toilets. Karl showed him the toys that had to be thrown out (or in the case of the penguin, the feet of the toy sticking out of the bottom of the toilet), and the boys saw how hard it was for the new toilet to be installed. Ethan's reaction was to laugh. He thought it was a huge joke.
He writes all over *everything*. Earlier this week when I was doing homework, he wrote all over the wall (the only one that hadn't already been destroyed) in his bedroom and all over Liam's bed. He, of course, got in trouble and acted like we had just killed his pet dog in-front of him and made him eat the thing. Next morning he was up and trying to write on things again.
Today I felt REALLY sick, like I had been hit by a truck. I have this problem once a month a few days before my period. Anyways, I was laying down whether I wanted to or not (had been sitting up talking to Liam and literally fell asleep) and Liam comes up screaming. He shows me a Zhu Zhu pet baby that Ethan had drawn all over with permanent marker. This is the limited edition stupid one that came with a set. Now we looked all over for the stupid critters and paid more than we should have for these silly things. Now it's covered in marker. I tell Liam to send Ethan upstairs. Ethan doesn't want to come, but when he does, he's giggling his butt off. I ask him what he did and he said "nothing" and then said he drew on the baby. I ask why and he starts laughing and says "Because". I asked for a better answer and he just laughed. I asked if he was going to do it again and he just laughed. So he got put into time out. I put him in his room and closed the door. That was a little before 4pm. He screamed until he fell asleep. We didn't hear from him again until 7pm.
He got up and came downstairs. I asked him if he was ready to talk and he curled up against me like he was sleepy. I said I'd cuddle him if he talked first. He threw himself on the floor and cried for 5-10 mins.
I told him he needed to talk to me first before he could go play. He takes another 10ish mins of crying before he talks. I ask why I put him in time out and he tells me because he drew on the baby. I ask if he was going to do it again, and he says no. I tell him that since he can't stop drawing on things, all markers/pens/crayons/etc will be put up and they will have to be asked for when anyone wants to use them. This causes another 15 minute screaming fit.
He also hurt the cat today and thought it was funny. Some of you know the issues we had last year with Tiger and her broken leg. As of now, you can't tell her leg was ever broken, except she sits with it sticking out a little bit. She runs, jumps, gets under your feet, etc just like any other cat. Ethan was running to the door and chasing Tiger and stepped on her paw. Tiger did a normal "hiss-crank" that a cat does when they get stepped on. Ethan giggles and JUMPS on her leg again. This makes Tiger REALLY pissed and she makes the hiss that means she's going to kill something. I wouldn't have blamed her for scratching him, but she didn't. She limped around for a minute or two as Ethan laughed. I went to check on her before yelling at him, and she seemed OK after a little bit. Ethan got yelled at and wasn't too happy to lose his toy while we drove to pick Liam up from school. Tiger seemed to be moving around and doing good by the time we got home.
Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong here. I don't want to hear "he's a boy and they do that" because they DON'T. I have friends who have boys who don't have drawings all over their house and broken toilets. I grew up with almost entirely boys in my neighborhood. Every single one of their houses were spotless and they never drew on or broke toys. These boys were pretty bad at rough housing too. I am tired of hearing "he's a boy" or "yeah, my kid does that" because I just don't see it happening at other people's houses. I haven't heard of ONE of my friends/family/neighbors having to replace 2 toilets at once due to their kids flushing things and breaking them. I haven't been in a house in my life that has drawings all over the walls and drawings all over toys, furniture, tables, etc. therefore I completely refuse to believe this is "normal".
I also refuse to believe that "all boys run into traffic" or do other dangerous things and find it funny. AND I don't believe that "all boys" jump on cats and hurt them and find it funny. If this was the case, we wouldn't have males in society. :P They'd have all killed themselves off by now.
I am tired and stressed about this. We leave for Oregon on Wednesday morning and all I can think about is that we'll be out there and Ethan will flush stuff down relative's toilets and break them or that he'll draw all over their walls, furniture, tables, etc with markers and they'll have to repaint their walls like we are going to have to. Or he'll destroy things on the airplane. Or he'll destroy things at restaurants or places we go to eat or do touristy stuff at.
*sigh* Liam had went through this "phase" way before he was 4. He was in and out of it when he was 3ish. His "phase" didn't last nearly this long and wasn't nearly this destructive. When you talked to Liam, you could tell he was "getting" it. With Ethan, I might as well be talking to Oster-bunny. I think he'd understand better.
