Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Time for me to rant...
First off, this rant isn't directed to anyone. I'm not looking for answers. I'm not looking for any responses really. I just need to rant, and since this is what I made this blog for, I'm ranting. If you don't like it, don't read it. :P
I am frustrated to hell and back for a ton and a half of reasons.... I'm going to touch on a few of them and then probably add some more later as I need to.
~ Liam and Ethan have some difficult to control behaviors. They have a whole list of things that happen with mostly me (since I'm the one around them most of the time), a bit with Karl, or my Mom. Years ago Kelly and Cathy A saw a lot of Liam's behaviors when we were over at their house a lot of times. Last year in school, Liam's behaviors were seen way more than we wanted them to be... but the only doctor/therapist/etc who ever saw them was Dr Faber. And that was probably a combination of both kids trying to kill each other. All in all, I think that day just pretty much proved that I have no control over the children.
Ethan races into traffic. Hits things. Attacks the cat. Hits his head on the floor. Screams and repeats things exactly as he's heard them. Does all of these things and more, but his school sees nothing. Neither school has seen anything. I get these letters from the special ed teacher that really make me feel like I'm lying to them about his behaviors.
Hell, it makes ME think I'm imagining these behaviors! There's days that he acts so perfect for everyone else but me that I really begin to wonder if maybe I'm the problem. Karl points out all of the time how Ethan tantrums because I give in to him, and he used to point out how Liam's delays were because I wasn't a good enough Mom and didn't spend enough time with him...
~ So I have this wonderful thing called Respite Care we're signed up for. For those of you reading who don't know what it is, it's a service that is pretty much specialized babysitting for kids who have special needs. They're professionals who can be with the children from 2-8 hours. You can be on the premises or off. You can give them money to take public transit for activities with the kids. It's a really cool service.
However, I can't call them to give me a night off. Why? Because my house is an awful mess. I can't have someone come in and see how horribly gross my place is. I can't get my dishes caught up. My bathrooms are never clean. I have junk everywhere that I have no place to put, but can't get rid of since it's important stuff and things that I use. My clothes are never folded and put away since I have no comfortable place to sit or lay the clothes while folding them so I can move them to get to the cabinets/dressers behind the piles of laundry. (My bed is just a mattress on the floor and Karl refuses to get a frame for it since he has this "special" frame in mind... we've been laying on a bed on the floor for probably 2 years now)
Respite is my really only.. well, respite. Karl has D&D, band practice, choir practice, etc. I went out to Panera last night to have a few hours to myself to do homework and he really made me feel like dirt for leaving. Last time I talked to him about it, he just blew it off, so talking does no good.
Tho I do have to add that as I'm ranting about this (I was down a few paragraphs when this happened), Karl came home and we talked for quite some time about misc stuff that's been happening. Now he's running an errand for me and then picking up dinner... while he has the kids with him. So maybe he's made up for it for now! *LOL*
~ I have an absolutely wonderful opportunity to take this lactation consultant course this fall with Gini Baker. I've mentioned it before on here and half a dozen other places. I really want to take this course. This is the best option to be prepared to take the IBCLE test next summer. Gini is wonderful. She has more knowledge than anyone else I know. Training with her would be wonderful. Not to mention they have a deal with the board that reduces the number of hours needed because of all of the stuff she does. I have student loans to cover the tuition (or at least 90%ish of it). The problem is that it's in San Diego and I have to go approximately once a month from September through May/June. It's also 2 days of lectures, so I'd need to arrive one day, stay overnight, do day 1 lecture, overnight, day 2 lecture, and then leave that evening... which means I'd need a hotel or some sort of lodging along with the airfare. I can't afford the monthly airfare or lodging.
~ I found out about the "Summer Services" for Ethan.... This is what the letter says:
"Your child has been receiving early intervention services through the DART Program this year and as summer approaches and preschools are no longer in session, we are providing "Summer Services" to address your child's IEP goals. In addition to working on goals this summer, we want to continue to give your child the opportunity to play and interact with other children. The groups will be facilitated by the DART staff currently working with your child.
Date is Tuesdays from 8:45am-9:45am on the following dates June 15, June 22, July 20, July 27, and August 3.
Our focus will be to continue to address your child's specific needs and individual IEP goals, while at the same time introducing him/her to another small group experience. We hope that you will help us to create a fun and enjoyable summer learning experience for your child. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this opportunity, feel free to contact me."
So the SUMMER PROGRAM is 5 dates for an hour each day. It's not even every week for the summer. It's 15th, 22nd... skip the 29th, 6th, 13th... 20th, 27th, and 3rd.... What good is that going to do?
Well, I guess since he has no issues it probably won't matter :P
~ On the summer issue... We applied for the Mini-Grant for Liam. It's a grant for kids on the spectrum to help out with stuff. I applied for it for some camps for the summer: The Pgh Zoo, The Science Center, and The Carnegie Museum. The problem is we won't know for another week or two if we got the grant. Without the grant, we can't afford these programs. BUT if we wait on the grant to be approved, we might not get spots in the programs. My understanding is that the grant monies come in the form of a check for the place you're asking for... so I'm worried that if we can't get into the place, we're going to have this useless check... pretty much a doily. *sigh*
~ I'm also so tired of listening to and respecting other people's points of views and having them NOT listen to and respect mine. I try to listen to everyone's point of view. I feel that you can always learn something new and even if your points don't mesh, it's useful to know why someone doesn't agree with you. BUT if I spend the time to listen to you, I expect you to listen to me. I don't expect you to agree with me, just respect my opinion.
~ I also am annoyed that I keep forgetting to give the boys the supplements that Dr Faber wants them to have. I have them here. They are sitting right here. I can see them from where I sit. BUT they either hate the taste or I forget to give them to them. *sigh* It's so frustrating.
I could go on for a bit longer i'm sure, but this is probably long enough for now. After all of that I actually feel a lot better. I'm going to finish up my paper on the "Importance of Infant and Toddler Nutrition", and then take a bath with my new soap from one of my vendors, Sheepish Grins. I have a "Green Tea" Goats Milk Soap and an "Oatmeal, Milk and Honey" one.
I am frustrated to hell and back for a ton and a half of reasons.... I'm going to touch on a few of them and then probably add some more later as I need to.
~ Liam and Ethan have some difficult to control behaviors. They have a whole list of things that happen with mostly me (since I'm the one around them most of the time), a bit with Karl, or my Mom. Years ago Kelly and Cathy A saw a lot of Liam's behaviors when we were over at their house a lot of times. Last year in school, Liam's behaviors were seen way more than we wanted them to be... but the only doctor/therapist/etc who ever saw them was Dr Faber. And that was probably a combination of both kids trying to kill each other. All in all, I think that day just pretty much proved that I have no control over the children.
Ethan races into traffic. Hits things. Attacks the cat. Hits his head on the floor. Screams and repeats things exactly as he's heard them. Does all of these things and more, but his school sees nothing. Neither school has seen anything. I get these letters from the special ed teacher that really make me feel like I'm lying to them about his behaviors.
Hell, it makes ME think I'm imagining these behaviors! There's days that he acts so perfect for everyone else but me that I really begin to wonder if maybe I'm the problem. Karl points out all of the time how Ethan tantrums because I give in to him, and he used to point out how Liam's delays were because I wasn't a good enough Mom and didn't spend enough time with him...
~ So I have this wonderful thing called Respite Care we're signed up for. For those of you reading who don't know what it is, it's a service that is pretty much specialized babysitting for kids who have special needs. They're professionals who can be with the children from 2-8 hours. You can be on the premises or off. You can give them money to take public transit for activities with the kids. It's a really cool service.
However, I can't call them to give me a night off. Why? Because my house is an awful mess. I can't have someone come in and see how horribly gross my place is. I can't get my dishes caught up. My bathrooms are never clean. I have junk everywhere that I have no place to put, but can't get rid of since it's important stuff and things that I use. My clothes are never folded and put away since I have no comfortable place to sit or lay the clothes while folding them so I can move them to get to the cabinets/dressers behind the piles of laundry. (My bed is just a mattress on the floor and Karl refuses to get a frame for it since he has this "special" frame in mind... we've been laying on a bed on the floor for probably 2 years now)
Respite is my really only.. well, respite. Karl has D&D, band practice, choir practice, etc. I went out to Panera last night to have a few hours to myself to do homework and he really made me feel like dirt for leaving. Last time I talked to him about it, he just blew it off, so talking does no good.
Tho I do have to add that as I'm ranting about this (I was down a few paragraphs when this happened), Karl came home and we talked for quite some time about misc stuff that's been happening. Now he's running an errand for me and then picking up dinner... while he has the kids with him. So maybe he's made up for it for now! *LOL*
~ I have an absolutely wonderful opportunity to take this lactation consultant course this fall with Gini Baker. I've mentioned it before on here and half a dozen other places. I really want to take this course. This is the best option to be prepared to take the IBCLE test next summer. Gini is wonderful. She has more knowledge than anyone else I know. Training with her would be wonderful. Not to mention they have a deal with the board that reduces the number of hours needed because of all of the stuff she does. I have student loans to cover the tuition (or at least 90%ish of it). The problem is that it's in San Diego and I have to go approximately once a month from September through May/June. It's also 2 days of lectures, so I'd need to arrive one day, stay overnight, do day 1 lecture, overnight, day 2 lecture, and then leave that evening... which means I'd need a hotel or some sort of lodging along with the airfare. I can't afford the monthly airfare or lodging.
~ I found out about the "Summer Services" for Ethan.... This is what the letter says:
"Your child has been receiving early intervention services through the DART Program this year and as summer approaches and preschools are no longer in session, we are providing "Summer Services" to address your child's IEP goals. In addition to working on goals this summer, we want to continue to give your child the opportunity to play and interact with other children. The groups will be facilitated by the DART staff currently working with your child.
Date is Tuesdays from 8:45am-9:45am on the following dates June 15, June 22, July 20, July 27, and August 3.
Our focus will be to continue to address your child's specific needs and individual IEP goals, while at the same time introducing him/her to another small group experience. We hope that you will help us to create a fun and enjoyable summer learning experience for your child. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this opportunity, feel free to contact me."
So the SUMMER PROGRAM is 5 dates for an hour each day. It's not even every week for the summer. It's 15th, 22nd... skip the 29th, 6th, 13th... 20th, 27th, and 3rd.... What good is that going to do?
Well, I guess since he has no issues it probably won't matter :P
~ On the summer issue... We applied for the Mini-Grant for Liam. It's a grant for kids on the spectrum to help out with stuff. I applied for it for some camps for the summer: The Pgh Zoo, The Science Center, and The Carnegie Museum. The problem is we won't know for another week or two if we got the grant. Without the grant, we can't afford these programs. BUT if we wait on the grant to be approved, we might not get spots in the programs. My understanding is that the grant monies come in the form of a check for the place you're asking for... so I'm worried that if we can't get into the place, we're going to have this useless check... pretty much a doily. *sigh*
~ I'm also so tired of listening to and respecting other people's points of views and having them NOT listen to and respect mine. I try to listen to everyone's point of view. I feel that you can always learn something new and even if your points don't mesh, it's useful to know why someone doesn't agree with you. BUT if I spend the time to listen to you, I expect you to listen to me. I don't expect you to agree with me, just respect my opinion.
~ I also am annoyed that I keep forgetting to give the boys the supplements that Dr Faber wants them to have. I have them here. They are sitting right here. I can see them from where I sit. BUT they either hate the taste or I forget to give them to them. *sigh* It's so frustrating.
I could go on for a bit longer i'm sure, but this is probably long enough for now. After all of that I actually feel a lot better. I'm going to finish up my paper on the "Importance of Infant and Toddler Nutrition", and then take a bath with my new soap from one of my vendors, Sheepish Grins. I have a "Green Tea" Goats Milk Soap and an "Oatmeal, Milk and Honey" one.
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